RELATIONSHIPS

Falling In Love with Myself is a Form of Rebellion

Throughout my life, I have had a love/hate relationship with myself. Early on, it was almost always hate and most of it was physical. I hated my curly hair that set me apart from the beauty standards I saw. I hated my nose and the beauty mark under my lip, and I especially loathed my weight and being called gordita. While it was said as a nickname and with cariño, being “the little fat girl” led to some of the darkest moments of self-hatred of my life.

I even hated…


We only think time heals all wounds

I’m OK — The letters OK highlighted in the word, “BROKEN”
I’m OK — The letters OK highlighted in the word, “BROKEN”
We’re all a little bit broken, a little bit OK

It was a warm, crisp fall day. The sun was out, the air smelled of burning leaves and the days were just starting to feel shorter. Like many, I took advantage of the day to get some mulch down before winter blanketed everything in cold, snow and misery. It was a great workout carrying the 25lb bags from the garage to the side yard over and over again — sixteen times to be exact, and raking it across the area I’d previously covered with layers of cardboard boxes to prevent the greenery —…


How the pandemic helped me let go of all that wasn’t for me

As a child, when I pictured my future, I was a teacher; a flight attendant; a businesswoman with a corner office among the clouds, far above the streets of New York. I wore heels and the latest fashions and owned a modern, minimalist condo that I shared with my husband and cute little dog. My weekends were full of cocktails, dining out and the latest Broadway shows.

RECORD SCRATCH

My life looks nothing like that and it has taken me over two decades to come to terms with how…


Girl, wearing jean jacket carries books in left arm, while wearing a backpack and holding headphone wires in her right hand.
Girl, wearing jean jacket carries books in left arm, while wearing a backpack and holding headphone wires in her right hand.
Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash

I am a college professor and former foster mom with experience with high school students. I consider myself hands-on but I try to allow independence for both my students and at home. However, the longer I teach college-level courses, the more I encounter students in my class who are entirely unprepared for college. When I look at my foster daughter’s k-12 education thus far, it’s easy to see how our constant accommodations to help kids feel special is ultimately hurting them.

In my seven years as a college-level educator, I’ve worked with undergraduate students and graduate students. Sadly, the amount…


Survival Isn’t Limited to Making it Out Alive

Photo by Claudia Wolff on Unsplash

This pandemic has not only changed the way I live my life, but also the way I think about risk. As a reader, I spend a lot of time reading articles about the virus, specifically about how it’s spread and how to prevent transmission. It’s mind boggling to get into the roots of the virus because of the layers of effects it’s had in the short time it’s been spreading around the globe. …


How White Tears Cost Me My Corporate Career

Photo by Benjamin Child on Unsplash

In light of the protests highlighting the multitude of ways systemic racism impacts the lives of people of color, memories of a particular instance of how it was blatantly in my face keeps popping up.

Throughout my career in corporate America, I was often overlooked, underestimated and not offered a place at the table simply for being a woman of color. This was abundantly clear when I worked as an assistant manager of multicultural marketing at a multi-million dollar global Fortune 500 company. It was an exciting opportunity to be the second…


Black and Brown Kids Don’t Get to Celebrate Becoming Adults the Way White Kids Do

Image Source: Safehouse Progressive Alliance for Nonviolence (2005). Adapted: Ellen Tuzzolo (2016); Mary Julia Cooksey Cordero (@jewelspewels) (2019); The Conscious Kid (2020).

My nephew celebrated his fourteenth birthday this week. It came on the heels of the “liberal” white woman in Central Park who called the cops on a Black man when he asked her to leash her dog in an area of the park where leashing dogs is required. She donned her best frantic voice and lied to the dispatcher about him attacking her as he calmly recorded her antics. That same week, four police officers in Minneapolis used undue force to asphyxiate a Black man…


How a Widow Fumbled Technology and Ended Up Finding Love

When my husband died, one of the things I immediately missed was the feeling of value I got as his partner. It wasn’t specifically as his wife, but when we were together I never doubted that I mattered to him. It was the first time that felt exclusive. I know I mattered to my parents and others in my life who loved me, but my husband regularly told me and showed me how important I was to him. It wasn’t in grand gestures, but in the little things that let…


Photo by Allie Smith on Unsplash

We’ve all heard that eight glasses of water per day is ideal for a bunch of different health benefits. It’s vital to human survival and over half our body is composed of water. It’s been studied and refuted and new claims about the benefits of water are made almost weekly. I’ve been told to drink more water for as long as I can remember. Unfortunately, I have never liked water. While that is probably the most classist, privileged thing I’ve ever written, it’s true. As a kid, when I would tell my mother that I was thirsty, she’d say, “Drink…


The day before the anniversary of my husband’s death is all about love — and not just because it’s Valentine’s Day

Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash

The eve of my husband’s death happens to be Valentine’s Day. I was never a huge fan of the holiday, other than I was born exactly nine months later so I guess I should be thankful for it. I had many Valentine’s Days that were just like any other day of the week, whether I was single or not. As a wife, I honestly can’t recall many of our Valentine’s Days together but I do remember our last one…

Christina Fernandez-Morrow

Author, speaker, curious mind. Yay: traveling, eating, biking, spending time w/ interesting people. Nah: talking politics & religion, negative attitudes, egos.

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